LEARNING OUTCOME #1: RECURSIVE PROCESS
Through the recursive process I edited my argument to make sure it was focused and arguable. I also had to think about each of my claims that went along with my three body paragraphs and make sure they supported my thesis and were specific and not too broad. I chose to go back into my essay after I got my peer review critiques add more framing to the quote to create a smoother transition rather than throwing it in there. I used phrases like “Gladwell states”, “Appiah praises”, and “Gladwell argues”, to introduce quote from the text. A good example of this fix is my fist piece of evidence in my first body paragraph. Originally, I had started the sentence with the quote, but I later went back and change the beginning of the sentence to include a framing piece. This helped introduce the quote and what text it came from so I could transition into the discussion more efficiently.
In my final draft I continued to develop the idea of strong and week ties in my last body paragraph. I expanded on the evidence I chose for my claim that “Our actions are influenced by those who Surround us and are often determined by if we have strong or weak ties with the individuals around us.”. I added discussion points by asking the readers’ questions to spark thought about strong and week ties in relation to high-risk activism. I think asking my audience question is engaging and it also acts as a bridge between my evidence and analysis.
My thesis did not change from my rough draft to my final draft. My thesis was “Through Gladwell’s article there is a more compelling argument that high risk activism is essential to create change within your community rather than Appiah’s laid-back cosmopolitan approach”. I thought my Thiess was strong, arguable, and concise, I chose to shift my claims and analysis to better support my thesis rather than sculpting my thesis around my claims.
The last major part of my paper that change between the rough and final draft was the conclusion paragraph. I did not have a conclusion in my rough draft, my essay ended rather abruptly, a conclusion have me the opportunity to revisit my thesis and make any last comments or arguments to support Gladwell’s idea of the effectiveness of high-risk activism.
LEARNING OUTCOME #2: INTEGRATING IDEAS
My thesis was “Through Gladwell’s article there is a more compelling argument that high risk activism is essential to create change within your community rather than Appiah’s laid-back cosmopolitan approach”. I used Gladwell’s text to support my argument, but I also included parts of Appiah’s essay to prove Gladwell had the stronger argument. For example, in my fourth body paragraph I acknowledge Appiah’s argument that social media reaches an abundance of users however I am able to counter that by adding that social media doesn’t create change, it only increases knowledge of the social movements. I then State evidence from Gladwell’s text that proves major social change, like in the civil rights movement, happened without the presents of social media. In this specific example I was able to add my own ideas through asking my audience questions. Towards the end of this paragraph, I asked a series of questions hopefully prompting thought. I asked what change do we really see about societal issues that results from its presents on social media? This was my way of both disproving Appiah argument and supporting my own thesis.
I was able to draw deep connections through both Appiah’s and Gladwell’s texts. I recognized that they both want to see change, they just have different views about what is the most effective way to see that change. In each of my paragraphs I include both authors ideas on activism, I connect the two works by providing evidence on how we see actual change through the methods Gladwell supports, but very little change in the ways Appiah praises social media. I used examples of high-risk activism like the Greensboro sit-ins and other act of the civil rights movement, and I compare it to social media movements like #MeToo. Both movements wanted to see change, I acknowledge that, but one is successful and one not so much. I think that creating conversation between the two articles is important in making deep connections, and it further proves my argument.
LEARNING OUTCOME #5 and #6: CITATIONS AND LOCAL REVISIONS
Learning how to properly cite my sources was very important in order to give authors appropriate credit for ideas and information that I write about in my papers, but also to avoid and chance of plagiarism. Correct in-text citations in MLA format includes the authors last name and (if applicable) the page the evidence was found on. In terms of correcting grammatical and mechanical errors I found it helpful to read through my essay out loud to catch any spelling mistakes, run on sentences, or grammatical errors. While reading through my essay I also looked at the organization on my body paragraphs. Within my body paragraphs I make sure I have a claim and supporting evidence and sufficient analysis of my textual evidence. Sometimes I will have to add or take aways sentences or even edit my overarching claim, so it fits better with the evidence I included. I also find it helpful to have someone other than myself read over my paper to catch any mistake I may have made.
